Work intersected by the autobiographical and the ethical regime of image production. In 2011 I returned to the University to study photography. I was in a moment of existential crisis, due to the entry into middle age, and vocational crisis, also understood as an entry into new, unexplored territories, enhancers of conflict, but also of internal growth. As a male photographer several ontological ideas of photography, namely the male gaze and the scopophilic regime of image production and visualization of the female body through that gaze, were sources of emotional and intellectual conflict, which I tried to explore. The eye, as a technology of desire, and photography as it’s medium, are here used to confront ideas of body, of desire, of photographic meaning, through an ambiguous narrative that simultaneously shows but also denies, that distorts and frustrates the gaze. The female body, either represented through real persons or appropriated images seems to be invested with a growing desire of materialization and vision, a fantasy never materialized, foreshadowing photography as a simulacrum and as crisis, of look and desire.