"If God were continually manifested to man, there would be no merit in believing in him." (Blaise Pascal). I prayed every time I felt the need, I did it especially in the evening before falling asleep, I systematically repeated those prayers that religious education carved in my mind when I was a child; Concerning that seed planted by my family, Catholic by inertia, remains only my desire for faith, my desire to believe and feel cradled by those certainties that I deeply envy to the faithful. I began to wonder about my way of living religion, about my inner conflict between rationality, science and desire; This need to understand pushed me to put myself in front of what I thought could dissolve any doubt, as the incredulous Saint Thomas portrayed by Caravaggio, I thought that it was enough to sink my fingers in the wounds of the crucifixion to find the answers, the certainties, the faith.